Here I Go Again on My Own

​In the late 80’s a band by the name of Whitesnake (total hair band) had a hit titled, “Here I Go Again.” The premise of the song is that someone has only ever known what it is to walk by themselves through life. They believe, and in the song sing about, how they are the only person they have ever found they could count on. In fact the hook in the refrain of this rock anthem is, 

​“Here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.”

I am a person who has the propensity to sometimes live and operate as if I am living the lyrics to this song. As if I, too, am a drifter who was born to walk alone. I wonder if any of you can relate?

For me, this looks like overfunctioning, or taking on way too many things and convincing myself that I alone can fix it, do it, or complete it. As a sidebar, I think we all understand that “I alone can fix it” hasn’t really served us well in these United States in recent history. Rugged independence is what we’re supposed to strive for in our culture, and many times I find this way of living and working far too enticing to pass up. Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone…

The truth is, when I over-function, someone is under-functioning–often through no fault of their own. Truly, if someone like me is already doing all of the things, where is there space and opportunity for anyone else to jump in? The short answer is there isn’t. There is no space or opportunity for anyone else to function.

The long answer is a harder pill to swallow. When I over-function and, in turn, someone else under-functions, neither of us is living fully, loving wastefully, or being all that we were created to be. We are not whole. We are operating outside of what it means to be human. And what it means to be human is not operating in ways that are death-dealing, but instead is about operating in ways that are life-giving. As St. Irenaeus once said, “The glory of God is a human fully alive.”

Recently I had a candid conversation with the Pastor-Parish Relations Committee and then, at their encouragement, with the Church Council. Our conversation involved me sharing the ways that I and the church staff have been over-functioning as our congregation has spent the past 6 months trying out our experimental structure to operate without standing boards and board meetings and only with short-term ministry teams. In our desire to free people from more meetings, the staff has taken on much more than our bandwidths allow. The result of this experiment has been that some things have fallen through the cracks, and none of us have been humans fully alive. Which means that as a community, we have not been whole.

In the face of this information, the Council decided that as a leadership group they would begin meeting monthly to get a better handle on what support is needed, while at the same time beginning to work toward a more inclusive ministry model wherein more people–not less–are regularly involved in shaping and engaging life here at St. Paul. 

This will not happen overnight, but, with your help, it will happen. So that the needs of those already here and the needs of those yet to come are balanced. So that outreach and in-reach both have effort behind them. So that tradition and trying new things to offer new opportunities for connection are held in tandem. So that social justice and just compensation hold our attention in balance. So that worship and faith formation have a place at the same table as building improvements and caring for the church grounds. So that the liturgy–the fancy church word meaning “the work of the people”–is truly the work of the people…not just a couple of them.

This past Sunday during our Hot Topic conversation on sexuality, one participant brought up Genesis 2:18, “It’s not good that the human is alone,” (CEB translation), so God made for this first human a “helper” (again, CEB translation). At that moment, relationship was created. A relationship meant not to foster independence or co-dependence, but one of interdependence and balance. As if to say that it’s not good for we humans to be alone or to function as if we are.

Our sacred stories remind us that we are intended to function together. In relationship. As one beloved community. And when we forget to function in that way, as I and others have here recently, we have each other to remind us that God’s desire is balance. Wholeness. Humans fully alive. Functioning together. We are for each other beloved helpers who remind one another that being “born to walk alone” might work for Whitesnake, but in Christ it just doesn’t. We were born to walk together.

Here we go again…together...again...always,
Pr. Melissa

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