Staying in Our Own Lane

At Fellowship Time on Sunday, I sat at a table with others and enjoyed participating in a conversation about traffic in Oskaloosa. As is the case nearly anytime this subject is brought up, eventually the conversation turned to the change from four lanes to three lanes of traffic on A Avenue/Hwy 92 that runs through the heart of town. 

The core of the conversation was about traffic flow–how traffic seems to get backed up into intersections and makes life difficult for anyone behind a turning semi. We spoke of accidents we’d been a part of, an unfortunate altercation that had happened between one driver and another, and the bypass that has been “coming soon” since the 1970s. But one person spoke of the struggle he has had simply reminding himself to stay in his lane.

For this person–and maybe some of us–staying in the far right lane on A Avenue/Hwy 92 to drive, and only using the center lane to turn, has been quite the adjustment. But as I have thought about that conversation in Fellowship Hall, I have begun to recognize that this isn’t just a behind-the-wheel-struggle. This same struggle appears in my life when I am not behind the wheel as well. Perhaps this is true for you, too?

Sometimes, I look at the enormity of needs in our congregation and our community–not to mention our world–and I desperately want to do something–maybe ALL of the somethings–to tend to those needs and bind all of those wounds and fight all of the injustice. Only, the way I go about it sometimes, is to function as a one woman U.S.O. of sorts–not supporting the needs of and the well-being of service members and families, but just supporting the needs and well-being of–well–everybody. And before I know it, I’m overwhelmed by not only the immensity of the world’s needs, but also my own inadequacies to address them.

Our last Wednesday Evening Book Study found those gathered in conversation with Bishop Marianne Edgar Budde’s, “How We Learn to Be Brave:  Decisive Moments in Life and Faith.” In the book, and in her recent interview on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast (listen here), Bishop Budde speaks about the importance of staying in one’s own lane. She emphasizes the significance of focusing on our unique role and calling–especially during challenging times–not only as a way for individuals to contribute effectively, but as a means of doing so without becoming overwhelmed by the broader complexities of the world. In short, we address the needs of the world around us not by being all things to all people, but by being all of who we are alongside the people around us. We stay in our own lane.

For me, that looks like remembering that I am a called and ordained minister in the United Church of Christ. It looks like remembering that while our church is focused on social justice, it is a religious and spiritual organization, not simply a nonprofit. For me, it looks like showing up in spaces and with people with an understanding that I do so by way of a particular Christian tradition that I honor, and through which I walk–not because it is the only tradition on the planet, but because it is the tradition that points me in the direction of God. In other words, one of the lanes it is important for me to stay in is the lane that allows me to address the needs of the world around me pastorally. Venturing elsewhere is often a recipe in disaster for, as Bishop Budde suggests in her afore mentioned book, insight in one realm of my life does not necessarily carry over into others. 

In other words, I have unique gifts and unique experiences, coupled with my education, and because of this I have a particular way in which I can show up in the world with impact. That isn’t to say that I am ONLY a pastor or ONLY the sum of my gifts and experiences. It is to say that I am most effective when I have awareness of who I am and what I have to offer, as well as who I am not and what I do not have to offer. And so are you.

Times like the ones in which we live are filled with all kinds of reasons to get discouraged and to become overwhelmed. And yet, that discouragement and those feelings of overwhelm can be tempered when we figure out how we can–even in ways that might feel small to us–show up right where we are, just as we are, and engage issues in a manner unique to us. This takes self-awareness and an assuredness that, in fact, we are enough. And that when we bring just what we have into a given space and work from our own lane, our impact is palpable. It is effective primarily because we aren’t busy trying to be an expert on everything and we aren’t trying to show up like our neighbor shows up or the way people on the news seem to be telling us we MUST show up. We are effective in our own lanes from our own lanes.

So this week, Dear Reader, figure out what lane you’re in and start working from there. If you’re upset about ICE raids, figure out how your lane intersects with that work, and start driving. If you’re moved to act on behalf of LGBTQ+ people and our diminishing safety and rights, figure out how your lane intersects with that work, and start driving. 

There is freedom, not isolation, when we strive to stay in our own lanes. I pray you’ll join me in this work together.

Figuring out traffic flow with you,
Pr. Melissa

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