Why I Sing

On Sunday afternoon my voice sounded raspy. A couple of days later, it still is. I'm not ill, but I do know that I led worship on Sunday. I also sang with the choir, which meant that my voice was pretty much in use on Sunday morning nonstop. 

So why on earth do I do this to myself? If you were present on Sunday morning, you know the choir was 13 people strong. Certainly my voice would not have been missed. Certainly I could have sat this Sunday out and just did the pastor-y things and saved my voice. But still, there I was, running back and forth between the choir loft and the pulpit. But why?

The short answer is because I wanted to. The longer answer requires a bit of context. You see, I haven't sung as part of a choir since I was in middle school--and then, it was only because it was a part of the middle school curriculum. I have virtually no training. I can barely read music. And I require a strong singer next to me so that I can match my voice to theirs. I miss a number of notes. I read the wrong verse sometimes. But always...ALWAYS...I find something deep and true when I sing with others.

You see, the long answer to why I sing and lead worship all in the same Sunday, is that leading worship rarely affords me the opportunity to actually worship. But when I sing, I'm not the leader of anything. I'm just another alto in a sea of other altos, sopranos, tenors, and basses. I'm not expected to carry the song myself--in fact, it's best if I don't. I'm only expected to "jump on the train" (as Kent Jager says) of the song along with others and let the music carry us someplace new. Someplace different. Someplace, I think at least, a little closer to the Divine. Someplace--incidentally--that I just don't think I could get to myself.

So, my voice is tired today. But, OH, my spirit is full. Not because I am the best singer. Not because I am the best preacher. Not because I'm trying to "do it all." My spirit is full because I entered the song. I entered the song, I melded into something larger than just myself, and I was reminded how the Spirit of God moves through quarter notes and half rests. I was reminded of how God shows up in a familiar refrain. I was reminded of the holy thing that happens when just 2 or 3--or even 13--of us join together.

That's why I sing...what about you?
Pr. Melissa